I had a wow moment last evening. Not a wow like, “Publishers Clearing House is in my driveway,” but more like a, “good gravy, I’m getting old!” To be frank, the kind of wow that provided the vision of me getting one of those cute, old lady chains you attach to your readers, so they are always hanging around your neck.

I simply grabbed a new bottle of multi-purpose cleaner out of the cupboard. As one would do, I went to turn the nozzle dial to the “ON” position, and found it puzzling to read “509” on one edge. Nevertheless, I turned the dial to “ON,” and went about cleaning my kitchen counters. As I was finishing, “509” got the best of me, and squinting again at the dial, I realized it was actually the word, “OFF.” Really?! This, dear friends, deserves a ‘Good Gravy!’

Truly though, how many “509” moments do I have in a day, a week, a year? Those moments when we confidently assume a circumstance happened in a certain way. Whether it’s because of witnessing a single moment in time, or someone relays a version of a story they heard, read, or watched on tv about an event. The proverbial, “It must be true, I read it on the internet,” comes to mind. However, upon more thought, closer inspection of the event, I learn I was reading it all wrong. Sometimes squinting to see clearer, may I confess, I’ve found my quick judgement has brought a pang of guilt, or heartache to find out I was mistaken a time or twenty in life.

Last Thanksgiving my in-law’s brought me a very pretty bouquet in a circa-1970 glass vase. As they prepared to leave that evening, my mother-in-law mentioned there was no need to return the vase. “You may just throw it out if you don’t want it.” Surprised, I asked why I would want to toss such a pretty vase? “It has a blemish. The old thing has a chip at the bottom.” Well, I kept the vase, and love it. Actually, even more because of the chipped glass.

Aren’t we all really blemished vases? I admit I am. Blemishes, and flaws, I freely share, and those I would be too ashamed to. Judging too quickly words spoken by my husband, taking them out of context. The painful swallow of pride in apologizing, when you realize you should have paid closer attention in the first place. Or, what about the moments we plainly do not apologize at all, in pride?

I recently experienced such a moment at work. We all deal with difficult people… it’s just one of those facts in life. I work as a planner, and have a particular coworker who is poorly received by many. This individual stomps through each day gifting us all with emails ending in enough exclamation marks, that you would think they were tossing party favors on a table for decoration. Phone calls are even more uncomfortable, with accusatory remarks of our incompetence to do our jobs correctly. This individuals name stirs fear and dread when uttered in discussion… well, that may be an exaggeration. After a variety of emails one morning, my phone rang with this individuals name on my screen. Deep breath, pick up handset, “hello!” Immediately I was barraged with a plethora of “you,” and “they,” and “it’s not my job,” and… I had reached my limit. I came out swinging from my invisible sparring ring, knowing full well I was on speaker phone. Boy, did I let her have it, and ended the call stating I would take care of “it.” And, I did. I met with “they,” came up with a solution, and helped put a plan in action that day. I calmly phoned back, relaying our course of action, and was surprised to hear, “well, you’re a nicer person than I am.” Oh you bet I am, I thought, chest swelling with pride… for about 10 minutes.

After 10 minutes I felt terrible. I continued to feel terrible all day, all night, and woke up feeling the same way. Getting ready that next morning I began wondering if I should apologize for my words, but the pain of that! As I began to relive the exchange, and think about what I said, I realized that nothing I said was untrue, rather it was how I had let myself get sucked into the attack and drama that could have been handled much differently. I lifted up my feelings in regret to God, and apologized to him for my ugliness. I asked him to help me learn from the lesson, and be his light, not walk into the darkness with others during such moments. Of course it doesn’t rewind the situation, or make it okay, but it did give me peace, and more patience to this individual that day anew. And, thankfully, He also gifted me with a nicer person that day to help me catch my breath and realign how I conduct such attacks furthermore… and there would be “furthermore’s.”

I admit I am a blemished vase. I am bejeweled with chips, gouges, and cracks formed from this journey of life. Isn’t it wonderful though that we have One in our corner with no blemish? Who loves us so much, and promises to carry our yoke? If I would just slow down to remember that in my “509” moments. Recently I purchased a sign from Peaceful Home Signs that just sang to my soul. I LOVE IT! It has been placed right above our evening focal point… the television. It serves as a great reminder when watching the ugliness portrayed in life on the news to look up, read the sign, and remember all the wow moments can be handed over to God.

– Blessings

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